In a recent discussion, a friend of mine opined about my Narcissist. I heard myself saying that, if he was such a loser, why did his life appear to be going along so much better than mine. And, since saying that, I’ve heard a similar thought from another soul who reads my blog. They opined that the good guys do finish last. I have to say, this resonated with me. So the question of the day is: What is success?

It’s plain in retrospect my Narcissist is a thoughtless and empty shell whose only concern is his own satisfaction and gain at any cost. Clearly, this has worked for him all his life. Even though it seemed unconventional given his age when we met, he explained that he lived off his parents because he was an artist and inventor. I later learned he established relationships with women in his youth so he could live rent free which made me feel uncomfortable.

One of my subscribers has been in correspondence with me over the past several days. As I’ve read these notes, I’ve been reminded of how much havoc can be wreaked by a Narcissist. During one of the notes, they described a feeling of having a crushed soul.

For my subscribers, and especially for the subscriber with whom I’ve been exchanging email recently, I am posting a poem entitled Waves  which I wrote at the beginning of the beginning of my roller coastr ride through hell.

There is no easy way to end a relationship when one partner wants it to continue but Narcissists do have a way of crushing your spirit. A Narcissist is incapable of empathy. Only their feelings matter to them and if you try to make them care about yours, you only are giving them weapons to use as they destroy you.

This past week, Nobel Ceremonies were held. Since my former beau’s father was not able to endure grueling international travel due to his fragile health, a special ceremony was conducted for him here. I wasn’t invited, of course, but my affection for this old man caused me to watch a streaming broadcast of the event. Predictably, my Narcissistic ex took the podium. As morbid as it may seem to those who read my blog, I was compelled to watch the entirety of it.

First of all, I’d like to let you all know acceptance speeches are not protocol for Nobel ceremonies. No one attending the event in Stockholm gave one. Three of the family’s children sat on stage with this local Laureate. It surprised me that the oldest son didn’t speak but, knowing my Narcissist as I do, I understood it. This was a perfect opportunity for him to claim his moment of fame.