Narcissism is an epidemic in our culture today. You witness it when you experience the driver who executes a lane change at high speed that is a near miss which leaves your heart racing. There are less threatening examples that we witness everyday and, because we have become anesthetized to the unconsciousness behavior of people who walk among us daily, we tend to shrug out shoulders and move on with our business.
For those of us who have experienced a Narcisstic encounter up close and personal, we begin to notice the little things. I believe that I’ve written a post in the past about “flags” that are set upon certain behaviors like not answering direct questions directly or failing to acknowledge that a question has been asked. Although I can use my Narcissistic Radar detector to back away from personal relationships pretty adeptly, it is more difficult to step away from Narcissists in a business situation.
This past week, my business partner of nearly two years created a dispute that negatively affect my cash flow and made it obvious that he is a Narcissist. Bummer! There is some satisfaction in the fact that I have legal and enforceable standing in this case but the feelings that awakened when it became clear to me that I was under attack by a Narcissist once again were … unpleasant.
Our email exchange went south the moment I recognized his tactics of distraction and entitlement. I absolutely have a zero-tolerance policy for Narcissism. Unfortunately, the cycle of debate awakened nasty memories of the circular arguments that I used to have with my narcissistic ex in email.
The travesty of denial is visceral. And it all boils down to one fact:
The Narcissist Feels Entitled
The illogic of stating in one sentence that there was no verbal agreement for the compensation I expected, while stressing the value of another verbal agreement that was beneficial to him in the next sentence was jaw-dropping to read. I admit to laughing at the obvious inconsistency when I read his missive. If there wasn’t so much money in the game, it would actually be funny. But the money he feels entitled to matters to me so I have to contend with this individual until the issue is resolved. Thus, I am not able to take the advise that I’ve offered repeatedly on this blog and immediately and totally disconnect.
We sometimes don’t have the choice to disconnect from people. If we are in a toxic work situation, we can’t just “pull the plug” without having a strategy that protects us from financial difficulty. Do any of you readers have a story to share on this topic?
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