This past week, Nobel Ceremonies were held. Since my former beau’s father was not able to endure grueling international travel due to his fragile health, a special ceremony was conducted for him here. I wasn’t invited, of course, but my affection for this old man caused me to watch a streaming broadcast of the event. Predictably, my Narcissistic ex took the podium. As morbid as it may seem to those who read my blog, I was compelled to watch the entirety of it.

First of all, I’d like to let you all know acceptance speeches are not protocol for Nobel ceremonies. No one attending the event in Stockholm gave one. Three of the family’s children sat on stage with this local Laureate. It surprised me that the oldest son didn’t speak but, knowing my Narcissist as I do, I understood it. This was a perfect opportunity for him to claim his moment of fame.

This was big news in town and the event received a lot of coverage on the news and on the web, most of which I managed to avoid. A journalist on a news site I frequent wrote a blog that was prompted by the event and endeavored to explain to the masses why the award was given and used words from my Narcissist’s speech as a lead in. When I read it, I knew how it would be received by my pal. I wasn’t disappointed. Within hours, he responded with veiled hostility that clearly had an effect on the unsuspecting blogger.

Having been targeted by a Narcissist, I am fully aware of the difficulty involved in recognizing a Narcissistic attack and painfully cognizant of confusion that can result from trying to understand what provoked it. Though I didn’t want to provide Narcissistic supply to my former beau, I could not help empathizing with the journalist who had seemed to be adapting a position of contriteness in his efforts to gain approval from the Laureate’s son. I reflected on the numerous times I personally experienced this particular Narcissist’s subtle forms of emotional abuse and felt compelled to intervene.

I chose to post a reply to this blog and to not remain anonymous. Knowing the hazards of engaging my Narcissist by using a public forum like this in any way that may provoke him further, my reply was written benignly and suggested a debate about the speech was distracting attention from the accomplishments of a truly great man.

The journalist’s reply to my post explained he hadn’t intended to engage in debate about the Laureate’s accomplishments which, of course, I had understood in the first place. My Narcissist posted a reply and recovered the faux pas I had revealed by indicating he hadn’t taken the time necessary to appreciate the journalist’s comments before reacting and could now see there was no criticism about the speech. 

This is hard to describe and I may have confused you all with my attempt to explain what happened at this news site. I’ll break my anonymity here and provide a link to the other blog so you can read the exchange for yourselves.

Nobel Laureate Explained

Offline, I wrote to the journalist to explain why I had posted as I did. The man seemed grateful and told me my insights were helpful to him. He noted he had felt confused and had been worried about my Narcissist’s reaction to his blog. It felt good to be able to help this man resolve his confusion. No one should be left spinning in on themselves in the aftermath of a Narcissistic attack. That is also why I blog for all of you. I want you to know you are not crazy.

Even though my intention was clear at the time of my intervention, my Narcissist’s recovering reply supplied a rationale in his own words. He wrote, “those who act in their own self-interest need coordinating.” Most certainly, a Narcissist is always acting in their own self-interest for, in their Universe, that’s all that matters. Where it is within my power and I am aware of it, I will always intervene on behalf of innocent bystanders who are in this man’s, or any Narcissist’s sights.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2007 at 4:58 am and is filed under Emotional Abuse, Narcissistic Partner. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.