We’re glad to have you here. Of course we all understand … we’ve been there.

Leaving your Narcissist was a smart decision. They do have a strong hold, however. The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid contact for a while, even though he will try to communicate. You’ve been around the block a few times and you know how it will go.

Stay true to yourself, and keep coming back!

Phoenix

You are very welcome.

The site started out as a way for me to work through my own feelings. Over time, that has changed. Helping others understand what they have been through and why is the purpose of the site now.

Thanks for sharing your story with the group who frequent this site. I had the same feelings as you, finally.

The travesty of his behavior on the day of my mother’s funeral was my “wake up call.” I had been conning myself into believing that every difficulty we had, up until that point, was based in some “wrong” thing I was doing. But, I was not wrong to need comfort on the day of Mom’s funeral. I do not forgive him for his words, deeds, or timing.

Keep coming back to the site, or subscribe to the feed. I’m making plans to enhance the value for the people who have been loyal subscribers for years.

You’re welcome.

I agree that the most difficult part about freeing myself from the bad experience is letting go of the stupid decisions that I made in the name of love. My N didn’t have me paying all of his bills. At age 53, he still was able to rely on his mother for that.

He did have a way of convincing me there were things that he needed which I could afford to buy. A nice vacation, for instance. While we were away together, he was gracious and attentive. When we returned, he accused me of trying to obligate him by taking him along at my expense. He lured me into helping him with many work-intensive projects at his old house, and got angry with me for reminding him he had agreed to return the favor of my time by helping me out with things at my old house. Because we spent most of our time at my place, my grocery bill was affected and I don’t recall one time that he offered to supplement it. His idea was that he was “letting” me do something nice for him. And, I was stupid enough to think that was some sort of honor.

But his bad behavior on the day of Mom’s funeral is the thing that I can never forget, along with the fact that immediately and several months later, he denied having done anything wrong. I guess I understand that “wrong” is subjective. Regardless, there just are some times that ought to remain sacred and peaceful. When I think of the way he looked when he came to pick me up that day, how he wandered around at the memorial service laughing at his own jokes, and especially the way he treated me when no one was around to see the real him, it remains unforgivable. And the fact that I invited him into that event is something that is hard for me to forgive too.

Phoenix