Tonight’s reflection regards obsession. I learned my Narcissist’s chosen spiritual path was Scientology when I became exasperated with his definition for the word evaluation. Because I felt it would improve our interactions, I was compelled to learn more about Scientology. As I began to study, I found many interesting concepts which I still embrace and apply. For the record, I am not a Scientologist.
It is a well known fact that Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard, redefined many common words for his new religion. There is a PDF version of Scientology’s Tech Dictionary that I've perused over the past 5 years. In that text, the word obsession is defined as returning motion on something where there has been too much motion thrown at the individual on that subject. Generally, emotion is classified as energy with mass that has motion.
The emotional abuse my Narcissist inflicted on me was very subtle at first. I knew something was wrong but it was impossible to isolate the problem. When I realized how he was affecting me, my first impressions about him kept me from believing he could be so cavalier about the havoc he was wreaking in our relationship. As his negative reviews of me increased in frequency and force, I became obsessed with defending myself. It felt necessary to return that motion which was overwhelming me with doubt about who I was.
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Continue reading What is Obsession?653 words, reading time ~ 2:37 mins