A Narcissist wants their victims to feel insecure in a relationship for this increases their feeling of being powerful. They will go to any lengths to acquire and keep control, diverting negative attention from themselves and deflecting it onto those whom they rely upon for Narcissistic supply. One method of going about this is to create an environment where the victim is constantly questioning their own motives and afraid to point out ways in which their own needs are not being met in the relationship.
During our last conversation, when I finally was at my wits end and demanded an apology from him, he said he had nothing to apologize for and added a commentary about my need to learn to make others more important than myself. Translated, this means he was expecting me to continue to place his needs above my own and forget the abusive things he had done. Yet, I continue to reflect on his criticism, weighing in my own mind’s eye whether or not there is any credence which ought to be lent to it for this is my way. Analytically, I know he is capable of using anything he can to not accept responsibility for what he did to me on the day of Mom's funeral. I reflect because my heart still wants to believe he isn't a monster.