It was suggested to me by a friend that writing this post would be ‘cathartic’ for me. I am not sure I agree, but ‘friend’ is not a word I use lightly, and so as friends go, so goes my nation. I’m not even sure that my narcissist is a narcissist, as opposed to your average garden variety sociopath. I know my friend thinks that my getting this out will help me to deal with the ‘hurt,’ but I’ve written it before, and the few people who have actually been privileged enough to read the story have even served as the vindication I craved. But it didn’t ease the hurt, and it didn’t stop it either.
I’ve been pondering my attachment to the past a lot recently. The last of my belongings from my former home were delivered last week. It was a long time coming and I opened each box with anticipation, looking for certain items that I was sure would be there. Alas, two treasured books were missing … and I mourn them.
Through the twists and turns my life has taken since 2006, I’ve experienced a lot of loss. One would think that it would get easier to shrug it off but the memory of these things, and the loss of them now realized, sort of makes me sad.
We have a new author on our site. Her name is Dragon Heart.
She and I met in another circle. When she saw The Legendary Narcissist site, she wanted to be a part of it so she could contribute her knowledge about Narcissists and work with me to make this site a better resource for you.
The topic of narcissism ranges well beyond the experiences that I’m able to share with you. I can talk with you about narcissistic partners and narcissistic employers, but I can’t tell you what it was like or what I learned from having a parent who was a narcissist. Dragon Heart has had this experience, as well as others, and I’m grateful that she wants to help me help you. 🙂
Only a victim of Narcissistic abuse could ever relate to this title. Most people seemed shocked by it. But those of us who have been through it – well, we might even laugh because we can relate.
It seems almost blasphemous to even think such a negative thought – OMG, watch the horrible look on people’s face if you dare say it in public.
But that’s how I feel.
Family – the one I grew up in or the one I married in later – did not fit the all-American illusion of happy times and togetherness.
Holidays seemed to bring out the worst in everyone and always kicked in my depression. Sometimes I didn’t even know why.
Dragon Heart here. This is a post that I wrote in response to a “yahoo answers” Question in 2008. Here is the Answer I wrote which I think still works well today. It also reflects the recovery I was able to gain after 10 years of working at it.
Can Children of Narcissist Parents Ever Recover?
YES, you can recover from NPD Parents!
First of all you need to learn about recovery and what recovery really is.
There is 12 step recovery and then there is therapy and then there is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or “Tapping” is a technique to relieve emotional disstress and clear the issues that are stuck), and there is the Recovery Model in the mental health field.
Dragon Heart here. I appreciate the opportunity to be able to contribute to this blog as a guest. I can appreciate where you are all coming from and where you’re at. I’ve been there too. I thought I’d start with posting something I wrote almost 15 years ago when I was frantically searching for answers and had begun to put together a list of what I found. I needed this list so I wouldn’t forget and fall for the lie over and over any more.
I called it “What I’ve Learned About Narcissists So Far” and I’ll post it here just as I wrote it then: (thanks for reading, I hope it helps you.)